Friday, April 8, 2011

Comment: Ew. Just Ew

I wish Kristin's post was an April Fool's joke...but it's not. Those things are real. I will admit that I gagged quite a bit when I read, "outties that are like three inches long and show through every shirt and sweater". EWWW! It's like a turkey timer: POP! Baby's done! (And don't get me started on a newborn who still has some umbilical cord attached and parents just need to wait a few days - or weeks, I really don't know - for it to fall off!)

Maybe belly button rings are a way to tide teens over until they can get a tattoo? Janie's totally gonna get a sweet tat on her lower back as soon as she's 18 (why are her parents so lame and making her wait soooooo long? Don't they know she's not little Janie anymore. In fact, she's Jane and needs to show this by having a butterfly, fluttering freely through the air, forever imprinted on her lower back? Like, so lame.). The belly button ring is probably a compromise between parent and child. Until she gets that Tramp Stamp on her own, Janie might as well adorn her belly with some bling? Even if her parents signed off a tattoo, would they really want their daughter to get one on her belly? It's like they know she's bound to get knocked up. What if she needs a C-section? That totally original butterfly flying freely along a rainbow, leaving a trail of flowers will get cut up...bummer. The only logical thing to do is pierce that belly!

Why do these...things exist? Isn't flaunting your body all over the place what got you into this situation in the first place? Why would you want to keep it (not to mention if your new outie doesn't go back to an innie)? Do you really want to draw attention to a long, saggy belly button (*dry heave*). Imagine if THAT got caught on some clothes (*continued dry heave*).

In regards to the teen pregnancy shows: yes, I watch them. I'm amazed that teen pregnancy is still an issue in this day and age. On more than one episode the knocked up teen's friend asks, "How did it happen?" What? Really? You're really asking that question? America needs to improve its math skills: that disclaimer about contraception being 99% safe - someone's got to be that 1% and it looks like it's your friend! At least this show has taught me why teen pregnancy is still an issue.

Overall, body piercings just baffle me; however I am a fan of the industrial ear piercing, but only if it's a barbell that looks like a spear. It's like the person had some amazing Gulliver style adventure. Maybe the spear that's lodged in his ear is a proud battle wound (You escaped the Lilliputians? How cool is that?).
Ears are one thing, though. I don't mind looking them. But who, in all honesty, likes looking at belly buttons? It really doesn't need any added attention. Ew...just ew.

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