Girl Scout Cookies

That's right. This post does not have a category. The scorn and malice that boils within me places this topic above classification.

Just what is the allure of these cookies? They don't even taste good (unless you consider waxy chocolate to be delicious). I will gladly buy a box of elf-made Keebler Grasshoppers over Thin Mints ANYDAY.

I really hate when troops decide to set up shop outside of stores or inside subway stations, right in front of the turnstiles. What genius thought that spot was a good idea? Doesn't anyone notice the intense bottle neck it creates (It's okay. It's not like I have a bus to catch NOW. Take your time buying these overpriced, over packaged, waxy cookies)? The only bright side to this tactic is that some girls are actually there (no doubt because their mothers are the troop leaders). It's a lot better than parents who simply leave the order sheet in the break room at the office, fully expecting their co-workers to contribute to their daughters Top Seller T-shirt. NO! If you want to be top seller and get that T-shirt, you better get off your ass and give me one damn good sales pitch...not your mom...not your dad...YOU! This is precisely why I will never order Girl Scout Cookies at work, even if the girl scout goes from office to office, pleading for a sale (I'm sorry little girl, but not every little girl has a parent in a high ranking management position, who thinks it's part of her job description to guilt and pressure her employees once a year into buying cookies from you. It's simply unfair and I cannot support an organization that allows such villainy.)

I also don't understand what selling cookies has to do with Girl Scouts. I always thought this organization taught girls about leadership, values, and self-esteem. Let's take a quick look at values and self-esteem:

Values
In selling cookies, doesn't that perpetuate an idea that woman should stay home and make cookies all day, at least on some subconscious level? (Personally, I would love this. I also belonged to a troop that decided it was an awesome idea to earn the "Looking Your Best" badge. Yeah, you read that correctly: Looking Your Best. Here's a picture of it:



That would be a mirror, a comb, and a brush you're looking at. No lie. This is an actual girls scout badge...and I earned it. We were actually working towards this goal as a united troop! YEAH! I don't know how we found time between all the mini-bagel, peanut butter, birdseed bird feeders we made...but we did).
I realize the girls no longer bake the cookies (I would have so much more respect for them if they did. A cookie made without love is like a cookie with raisins in it *spit*). But what message is being sent? Does anyone ever think about Girls Scouts unless it has to do with cookies? It seems as though society is saying, "You're only important because of the cookies you sell. If you didn't have any cookies, I would have no reason to support you." Honestly, does anyone donate to them outside of cookie season? I highly doubt there would be as much support if troops held organization sanctioned bra burnings (Buy a bra and throw it into the bonfire! Every bra is one step closer to camp!).

Self-Esteem
Strangers will like you if you stand on the street and sell them some sugar? Wasn't this on Law and Order: SVU last week? I'm not sure this is what Juliette Gordon Low had in mind when she founded this organization, but I could be wrong.
(Not to mention the damage to your self-esteem when the same girl in your troop is always the top seller and gets that special Top Cookie Seller T-shirt EVERY YEAR even though her mom just brought the order sheet to work and your parents refused to do that for you. Awful!)

In conclusion, it's not the organization itself I have a problem with. It thinks it teaches girls great strength...fine (and steroids help athletes fine great strength...whatever). My problem is with these damn cookies. I don't even want to call them cookies. Instead, they should be called machine-spawned, adulterated biscuits.

Comment: Crimes Against Humanity - What's Wrong with the State of the World

OMG!
NAP! Totally NBD! NY1 can c typing letters is CWOT. U need to T+ about it :)
MBN living up there in your ivory tower, glaring down on us commoners! IS IT?

Yeah, it's pretty damn sweet up here!

That introduction was painful. I'm GLAD to admit that I didn't know what some of those acronyms were. T+...what? Is there a new blood type? Are you contagious? Speaking in tongues (or should I say Typing in Thumbs - ZING!)? Be careful not to put that next to TB (TB T+? You have tuberculosis?!) I feel awful for all those people with dyslexia. This "lingo" must be a nightmare for them to use (BMN? You want blueberry muffins now? ).

And the worst - L8R. Why are you mixing letters and numbers? What is this, MATH?! Do I have to solve for "L" or "R"?

I don't know. This texting lingo could be this generation's shorthand. Maybe...? I'm surprised there hasn't been a surge in the field of stenography.

Okay, I'll come down from my ivory tower and admit I have been guilty of using these words, phrases, abominations of the English language. They are convenient when you're texting, especially if you have an older phone that doesn't have a full key pad. It can get tiring clicking through the keys for a letter. And if you over click...WOO! Just put the phone down.
My real issue is when people start using these abominations outside of their texting realm. I do NOT want to open my work e-mail first thing in the morning and feel like I'm at a Justin Bieber concert...but that's just me.

(On a side note: I was writing a paper once and Microsoft Word automatically transformed my punctuation into a little face. Yeah...I tried to type a colon and parenthesis and got a little smiley face. At first I just thought I used proper punctuation...but no. My punctuation was gone. It was like the computer was mocking me.)

I will say there is a slight glimmer of hope: BM&Y is at least grammatically correct (as short as it is). However, I'm surprised it's not BU&I (between you and I...why is it "Y" anyway? Hasn't society banished "y" and "o" in reference to the word "you"? Damn, does my brain hurt).

Crimes Against Humanity: Ladies and Gentlement, I give you what's wrong with the state of the world:

A post from my personal blog, but one I'm sure should be taken up by T.A.S.K. as well. I KNOW Shanana must have some words to say on the subject. Check it out here.