Those of you fortunate enough to have received my short-lived email newsletter Life Sucks, Get a Helmet will recognize the following post. I think it deserves a place in T.A.S.K.'s literary canon, but you be the judge.
So, there's this unwritten law that Theatre Kids and Literature Kids hate each other (surely you jest, as you live with one...jest I do not. We accept it and continue our cohabitation...most of the time). This is a strange phenomenon as both are pretty similar. Hear me out: both are artistic; both have an appreciation of art in its various forms; and both regard outsiders with scorn and malice (don't deny it...just think about how many copies of The Da Vinci Code have sold...exactly. Theatre Kids, well, they just look down on everyone...theatre related, or not - monsters).
Now when these two fractions are subjected to each others' company an interesting dynamic is created. Throw some gamers into the mix and it makes for an interesting, blog-worthy evening...
It was Halloween night and I found myself in the basement of a comic book shop, surrounded by guilds questing for dominance over some other worldly realm and Theatre Kids (there's a difference? Slightly, yes). The Theatre Kids were performing a dramatic reading of the radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. Apparently a lot of companies do this on Halloween and it really is a nifty idea: studio microphones are set up; objects for sound effects are placed on a table; actors wear period clothing. Everything is set up as though you are in the radio studio watching the broadcast live.
Because I refused to venture into a comic book shop alone, I arrived a little early with my soon-to-be Theatre Husband (yeah, I can't believe it either...I'm going to marry a theatre kid) and read on a couch while everyone else set up. So far it wasn't too bad. Then the woman next to me chimes in:
Woman: What's going on here? What are they setting up for?
Me: This theatre compnay is going to have a performance. It's a dramatic reading of The War of the Worlds. (What a pitch for them, huh?)
Woman: Ah...*with a look of: what strange peopleMe: Oh, what's that? Your son is at a gaming event in the BASEMENT of a comic book shop; on Halloween night, no less. He's not hanging out with friends or trick-or-treating? Yeah, he'll be well adjusted when he grows up. Probably end up doing a lot of theatre. Not to mention this is something straight out of Law and Order: SVU.
That aside, the performance was pretty good...except, every now and then a spell cast on an elf by a goblin would carry over into our space. Poor venue choice.
Whatever. They did it and it was good. Hooray! Then it was off to the costume party, hosted by Theatre Kids. (Blast! The rest of the evening I'll be on their territory. Oh well...)
(By the way, I did a couples costume: he was Robin Hood and I was Maid Marian - only I dressed like a hotel maid with a Marian name tag. Clever, no?)
The party wasn't bad. It went like all other cast parties I'm dragged me to: I stick to my theatre kid like glue, we find a nice place to sit, then he leaves me to go grab a smoke EVEN THOUGH we discussed weeks earlier I HATE it when he leaves me alone at these things.
So there I am, sitting on a couch...alone. Then some guy sits down next to me:
Guy: Hey.
Me: Hello.
Guy: I've never seen you before. How are you connected with the company?
Me: Likewise. Umm...my boyfriend was in the show tonight and he's been in a few other shows with them.
Guy: AH! What's your name?
Me: Shannon.
Guy: I hate your name!
Me: WTF! Hello...WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Guy: No! Not you...that was my ex-girlfriend's name.
Me: What the hell's your name?
Guy: Jeff.
Me: With a "G" or "J"?
Guy: "J".
Me: Oh! The stupid, loser way to spell it.
Stupid Loser Jeff: Yeah
That's when Stupid Loser Jeff got up and went into the other room.
Why would you ever say something like that to someone you just met? I mean, I'm pretty socially awkward but come on! "I hate your name"? Yeah, I hate YOU, Stupid Loser Jeff. I later found out that Stupid Loser Jeff is a jerk.
This is what happens when Theatre Kids and Lit. Kids mingle. This will eventually lead to a full blown rumble. Only with this rumble, there will be no blades or heaters. The Theatre Kids will "saw the air too much" with their hands and tire out. That's when us Lit. Kids make our move: a swift sweep across their faces with our trusty, yet hefty, Norton Anthology. You've been Nortonized!
